Let’s go to the book of 2 Samuel, chapter 11. King David, often called the man after God’s own heart, had become the king of Israel, God’s chosen people, and led this nation to many victories over their enemies. There was no doubt that God had His hand on David’s life and he was finding blessing wherever he turned. But he was also so very busy and consumed with his responsibilities that much of what had made him great—an intimate relationship with his God—began to weaken. And by the time we reach chapter 11, he had grown rather self-confident and self-indulgent, to the point where he sent his army out to fight while he remained back at home. This decision opened the door for his fall from grace and he had an affair with the wife of one of his military leaders—Bathsheba as her name—and she became pregnant.

David did everything he could to cover up this sin, to the point of having the woman’s husband intentionally killed on the battlefield. While his conscience was, no doubt, loudly screaming at him, King David kept ignoring it and made Bathsheba his wife, hoping to sweep everything under the rug and just keep truckin’. But this greatly displeased the Lord (vs 27) and so God sent some tough love David’s way through the prophet Nathan, where we are picking up in 2 Samuel, chapter 12. Nathan sets the stage with David by telling him a story about how a rich man took advantage of a poor man by killing the poor man’s only lamb to serve to his guests. Through this story, David, who had been a loving, tender shepherd only a few years prior, was incensed. “Who would do such a thing!? That man deserves to be killed!”

Let’s begin reading together in chapter 12, verse 7:

“Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more. Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.’””

Now, I know it’s easy to read this account and think, “Well, Nathan was a prophet. That was his job to speak on behalf of God. And the king was supposed to be accountable to the prophet.” But consider the guts it took for Nathan to deliver such a message. As far as we know, Nathan had not been told of David’s indiscretions, aside from this divine download from God Himself. And David was still…the king. He was God’s anointed. And he obviously had the power to put Nathan, or anyone he desired, to death.

How would David respond to such harsh censure?

If you were in his shoes, wouldn’t you try to justify your actions? Refuse the critique? Resist the discipline? Shame the messenger?

Let’s pick up in verse 13:

“David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.”

The rest of this story is epic and one worth taking the time to read or re-read. But the primary question I’m asking you today is: Who have you given permission to speak truth and correction into your life?

Something I’ve been observing over the past few years has been a growing resistance to accountability in our culture. If we take an honest look at our post-pandemic world, we can easily see the exponential results of isolation, island living at its worst. There are so many factors we can point to, not the least of which is the rapid growth rate of technology, further alienating us from human interaction. If you stop and think about it, you’ll likely discover the ever evolving list of things for which you once turned to fellow human beings, and even to God, that now are tech-reliant.

When I was a newly married young woman, I remember approaching the fall season of our first year of marriage and thinking, “I’d like to make some chili for dinner this week.” I had loved my mom’s recipe as I was growing up, so I made a phone call, had a conversation with her, and then wrote down her recipe as she dictated it to me orally. There are many basic skills that my husband and I each possess: not because we learned them on YouTube, but because our parents and grandparents passed them along to us. We learned as we worked alongside of them. And if you think back to some of those experiences yourself, you’ll likely come to the same realization that I have yet again: I learned a lot more than the task at hand in those sessions. Life coaching happened organically. Relationship was deepened. Accountability was a natural overflow as we knew one another more intimately.

If we are not intentional about this in the body of Christ, we will allow even the modern conveniences of our culture to replace a biblical mandate we are given by God: to encourage one another, disciple those coming up behind us, pray with and for one another, bear one another’s burdens, and yes, hold us accountable when we are veering off course.

I recently heard of a man in his 30s who had been bringing his family to church fairly consistently. A gentleman just a decade or two beyond him in years, and who was a little further down the road in his Christian walk, pulled the younger man to the side and gently said, “Man, I noticed some of the things you’ve been posting about on Facebook lately. Let me encourage you: that’s not a good reflection on the life you’re trying to lead for Christ. Those aren’t things we ought to be doing and promoting.” The younger man was highly offended that anyone would speak into his life that way, misinterpreted it as being judgmental, and eventually chose to take his family out of the church because he didn’t warrant that type of accountability.

A lack of accountability is not limited to those in younger generations. This is leading people from all generations to fall from grace. Consider a mother who once served as a spiritual leader in the local church for decades, raised three children to love and serve the Lord, who has alienated herself from her family and the church, fallen prey to the deception of homosexuality, and has been living in a homosexual relationship for now over 10 years. When her children pled with her early on to hear them out, she boldly refused and has lost everything because of it.

…we all love to provide accountability but resist receiving it.

Have you noticed that we all love to provide accountability but resist receiving it? It’s in our nature! We do not desire to hear of our wrongdoings, and instantly the enemy shows up to trigger the defense mechanism: “Who are you to hold me accountable?” And we begin to justify our own negative choices based on the imperfections of the one who has graciously presented gentle, loving redirection.

Of course, there are people who do mean us harm or who are staring at the speck in our eye without seeing the plank in their own eyes! But what if we, as a body of believers, began to shift the culture among us to not just prayerfully and biblically offer accountability to others, but to prayerfully and biblically receive accountability from others. Who have you given permission to speak truth and correction into your life?

We’ll pick up in the next entry on the how-to’s when it comes to intentionally implementing biblical accountability into our walk with Christ. But first, take a few moments today to reflect on these directives and talk with the Lord about what He sees and doesn’t see activated in your life.

Dig a Little Deeper

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal areas in your life—whether they be practical or spiritual—where you have resisted accountability.

2. How is the Spirit challenging you to become more intimately connected with the body of believers through your local church or in the circle of believers in your community, close friends, or trusted family?